First day of asparagus and peanut butter (translation:school and grief)

Well, my first day as a normal person trying to get over things went decently-as well as could be expected I suppose. I had a horrible morning and skipped some classes/labs for lack of concentration and emotional stability but after a nice nap until about 2 I was fine for the rest of the night. It still feels like a dream. I keep thinking he will call or email and tell me it was a mistake and he really does love me and can be with me. Realistically I highly doubt this, although it would be so amazing I would have to do something drastic...like run around naked in the rain or whatnot-oooo might scare a few bugs hiding in the trees...hmm....perhaps a rethink on that one. =)

I went to a friend's house who is having a baby and she showed me all her baby stuff (she's due very soon) and I felt half way sad and empty thinking I won't have any children that I so desired. I won't have them because I won't get married. Perhaps I will have an orphanage and will be able to love those children as my own.

Curithers, I must read now and then go to sleep, ready for another day..

Take courage my love, don't let the world get you down tomorrow, keep your eyes lifted to your Father.....He loves you, you know?